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Don Ledingham

Friday 10 February 2006

Following on from yesterday's post and my conversation with Ewan MacIntosh I'm going to experiment with offering a little more of my own thoughts and feelings about education. I intend to start each daily entry with a "thought for the day"

TFTD Number 1

Children need to be liked

Do pupils need to feel that their teacher "likes" them for them to be motivated in class? I think the answer to the question is undoubtedly yes. I remember earlier in my career a teacher who used to comment as certain pupils came into the staff base "I don't like him" or "I don't like her" I used to challenge that teacher by asking how could they teach that child with that sort of attitude? I think pupils pick up a vibe if a teacher "cares" about them, which they equate to "like".In my experience all of the best teachers I have come into contact with have created a classroom where pupils feel they are "liked". Perhaps we should think of appropriating the psychotherapy term "unconditional positive regard" for the teaching process. What do you think?

Comments

Unconditional

Don

Sunday 12 February 2006

I think it might help to look at this from a parent's point of view. Let’s say your child is going into a new class for the first time. Would you expect the teacher to “like" your child? The alternatives would appear to be dislike or neutral. Dislike is obviously unacceptable. So what about a neutral stance? – I wouldn’t be happy about a teacher adopting a neutral stance to my child – they are in loco parentis – in the parents’ place. Are we therefore saying that a teacher should suspend any judgement about a child until the child has proved themselves to be likeable or to have done something to have won their approval? What if they aren’t “likeable” or able to win our approval – what then?

Last point – “it’s not human nature to like everyone we meet in our job” - I agree but children we teach are much more than just people we meet - it is our duty to suspend the normal way in which we come to judge people when we teach - difficult to do but absolutely necessary.

Teacher of a subject or of a child

Ewan

Sunday 12 February 2006

Forgot to answer one more point: if a child is struggling that is not a reason not to like them. On the contrary, what I mean is that every kid is capable of something extraordinary in life. Our job is to get inside their head and find out what that something is so that when they leave our insitutions they are on the right track for success in whatever form that takes. I'm not sure you can get into a kid's head on that level if you don't have a rapport, which probably means you have try to maintain that same 'benefit of the doubt' you have the first minute of the first day they walk into the classroom. Which, yes, probably means the teacher has to overcome human nature to some extent and 'like' their students. Easy enough to say on paper, but less easy in a stressful situation where you, as a teacher, have been undermined or ignored.

Teachers must like kids

Ewan

Sunday 12 February 2006

I've seen teachers who genuinely don't seem to like kids. Full stop. I don't know why they're in the job. I think I make a distinction between the different kinds of 'like' I feel. Some students inspire me to the extent I admire them for what they are able to do (normally folk seem to think it's the teacher's prerogative to feel admired by their kids but it's not something that's tempted me too much ;-). Some students I like because they are, as human beings, likeable.

Teaching is a stressful job only because we care so much about getting it right for our students. I don't think there should be an onus on us to like everyone we meet in our job - it's not human nature. There should be an onus on making kids feel secure and responsible for their actions. If they are responsible for their actions there is rarely a reason for us not to like them.

Liking

Don

Saturday 11 February 2006

Iain and Ewan

This is good!

Iain
I can like a pupil but not like their behaviour. Too often we let a child’s behaviour turn into a personal dislike for the child. As soon as we do that we have lost the respect of the child. Worse than that children pick up on the fact that a teacher may not like a child – this runs against their innate sense of fairness – once that happens you have lost the respect of the class.

Ewan
I think there is there is an onus on the teacher to like their pupils. The “liking” of pupils is not the same as liking my friends or family. We are professionals – we are paid to do our job. We establish the ethos in our classroom, not the pupils (although they obviously contribute to the interactions which go to help sustaining such an ethos).

As for jargon – I agree – that’s why I used the word “like” which is the word that children use. Nevertheless, we do need to explore the deeper meaning of some words which describe our practice.

When you say
“So the ones that know they are not liked by kids need to at least value that kid for what (s)he is and is able to do.” Do you mean that if a child is struggling with your subject that you don’t have to “like” them? Shouldn’t we “like” them just because they are children and it’s our job to teach them? By the way I agree with your last sentence – word for word.

Unconditional Positive Regard

Iain

Saturday 11 February 2006

If a child gets "unconditional positive regard" from a teacher, no matter how they behave, then it strikes me that at least a few pupils will not respond in kind, and instead treat the teacher with "unconditional contempt".

TFTD

Ewan

Saturday 11 February 2006

I have to agree with Ian - unconditional implies that there is an onus on the teacher to like all their students. That's not real life. We all, as humans, like some kids more than others, no?

Also, if one uses jargon the point is lost. Teaching is about cutting out the nonsense (in the true sense of the word - i.e.: jargon has no sense) and cutting to the chase. I like being liked by people I respect and don't care if people I don't respect don't like me - I can afford to do that to some extent, as I have an emotional backup in my friends and family and confirmation in my professional life that I am doing alright. Kids need to feel liked by the teachers they respect. Not every kid will like all their teachers but they will need some kind of support from them as they lack the emotional backup adults are more likely to have. So the ones that know they are not liked by kids need to at least value that kid for what (s)he is and is able to do. Like / value - the same thing?

unconditional

Don

Saturday 11 February 2006

Ian

What problems do you envisage? Here's a nice quote from a Scottish document entitled "With all Due respect" : http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library5/justice/wadr-00.asp

Feeling valued: it is important that children and young people develop a secure feeling of their own intrinsic worth as people - that they are responded to with unconditional positive regard. Quite apart from the innate desirability of valuing all human beings, it makes sense. Young people are more likely to respond well in circumstances where they have a sense of being valued, where they feel included, and where they have opportunities to succeed.

TFTD

Iain

Saturday 11 February 2006

The use of the word "unconditional" would concern me - this could lead to a child taking advantage?

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